introspection and thoughtful consideration can be painful. it can lead to breaking whole-life traditions. it can lead to changing interpersonal relationship, but ultimately it will lead to freedom. once you own the decision and the consequences, it can be liberating. exploration needs to be personal and internalized. my method may be different than yours. it can be scary.
believing what you are "supposed" to believe or what you've heard your entire life is easy. the bible and "christianity" (however you might define it) are too tidy for me. when i raise the real questions i get trite responses like, "heaven, you got to believe it to see it" and "thats why it's called faith", that are no longer acceptable. what repercussions will i face? how will they change my thinking? how will my decisions impact those who depend on me?
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